April 21, 2010 was my 20th wedding anniversary with Gabbie.
We went out to dinner and had a decent time, but celebrating the occasion seemed pointless. Only a week before, she told me she was leaving as soon as we sold our house.
It turns out that the dinner may not have been pointless.
Gabbie's drunken run-in with the police in early April marked a low for her behavior. Since then, she has been so afraid of being charged with Public Intoxication that she stops at one drink when she goes out.
In late May, her night job ended. She is no longer sleep deprived.
Now, sober and rested, Gabbie only has one major pressure on her and that is the house. Our attempt to sell it has failed. For whatever reason, the decent real estate market in February, March and April has turned into a wasteland in May and June. Absolutely nothing is selling and every week new listings are adding to the inventory.
After wrestling with what to do, we have decided to take the house off the market. Because lenders will not negotiate if they receive their payments on time, Gabbie has decided to let her 820 credit score go. It will be many months before we know if the lender will modify the loan or take the house.
Gabbie says she is very afraid right now. Her fear gives me confidence that, at least in the short run, she wants me around. What happens thereafter is anyone's guess.
I am tired of the drama of the past six months. I am tired of writing about myself. This blog has become the most selfish indulgence I have allowed myself in many years, at least since my long affair with Marc.
Now that I have reached the present day it is time for me to stop looking back and start looking ahead. It has always been my intention that most of the blog would focus on the pros and cons of gay men with kids coming out in mid-life.
In the coming weeks and months, I look forward to engaging in a lively, provocative discussion that sometimes challenges the status quo and sometimes affirms it. I hope you are ready and willing to participate.