Rob of The Bi Married Mafia is conducting a survey of gay and bisexual married men. You can take the survey here.
I'm not sure if Rob is working on a second doctoral thesis or not, but he's a good guy so I'm happy to support his research efforts.
I don't know why, but I have decided to share my answers to the survey's 30 questions below.
1. Your Marital Status: Married
2. Where do you live? North America (The United States)
[The San Francisco Bay Area]
3. Age Group: 41-49 
4. If you are (or were) married/common law, how many years have you been (or were) with your female partner? 21-30 Years
[Technically we're 3 months past 20 years of marriage, but we've been a couple for 24 years.]
5. What do you consider your orientation at this time? Homosexual
[but committed to an imperfect woman.]
6. Same Sex activities BEFORE your Female Partner: Sexually Active:(same sex contact, oral sex, anal sex, mutual masturbation etc.)
[No successful anal until after marriage; when I finally did it, I could barely walk for two days.]
7. Same Sex Activities WHILE WITH your FEMALE Partner: Sexually Active:(same sex contact, oral sex, anal sex, mutual masturbation etc.)
[But nothing for the past seven years...do I get any gold stars for that??]
8. At what age did you sense that your same sex orientation started to really surface? Teen Years
[12, to be exact.]
9. Which best describes the home you grew up in? Liberal and Non Religious
[Regardless, it was not homo-friendly.]
10. Which best describes the home of You and your FEMALE partner? Liberal and Non Religious
11. If you are partnered with a FEMALE at this time does she have know of your orientation? She knows as I have told her
[but we never talk about it because it makes her very insecure.]
12. Have you stepped outside of your marriage and had sex with another male? Yes same sex masturbation, oral sex, anal sex etc.
[But I've been good for seven years!!]
13. How many different men have you had sex with in the past 3 years? (mutual masturbation, oral sex, anal sex etc.) None
14. Did you tell the REAL TRUTH on the previous question? Yes
15. When you actually see the number of different men that you have had sexual relations with in the past 3 years, how does it make you feel? FINE "Nothing to report here"
16. How many hours a week do you spend on the Internet looking for sex, viewing male pornography, or gay chatting? 1-3 hours per week
[I'm not a big porn guy, but sometimes it's fun to be inspired.]
17. While in relationship with your FEMALE PARTNER have you ever had ACTUAL SEX (masturbation, oral, anal) with another male anonymously (ie. you did not know them, you may not know their real name, or realizing you may never see them again)? Yes
[Thankfully, you never ask how many times...]
18. While in relationship with your FEMALE PARTNER have you ever gone to a Gay Bathhouse? No
[Strangely, I've never really been curious to go.]
19. While in relationship with your FEMALE PARTNER have you ever gone to a "cruising" Place (ie. a Park, washroom, alley etc, where homosexual men "cruise" for sex)? Yes
[Not for many years. This is embarrassing, but one of the places I have cruised is the main restroom at the Minneapolis airport. I did not see Senator Larry Craig at the time.]
20. Have you ever participated in "unsafe sex?" I HAVE PARTICIPATED in unsafe sex
21. Have you ever gone to a doctor or clinic to be checked for sexually transmitted diseases (STDs)? I go whenever I have concerns
[I think I've been tested three times. Twice I wasn't worried. Once I was.]
22. Do you worry about STDs?
No I am not sexually active outside my relationship with my FEMALE PARTNER
[One of the 'benefits' of being celibate - I don't have to worry about STDs!]
23. Are you sexually active with your wife/female partner at this time? Barely (minimal sexual activity in the past year)
[Since you asked...I got lucky last night for the first time in nearly 10 months. There was no penetration but, believe me, after that long wait, I'm not going to complain.]
24. Are you at peace with your orientation at this time? Yes
[since age 15. I think the fact that I'm gay makes me a much more interesting person. I enjoy my complex sexual identity so much that I would never want to change, even if I could.]
25. Does a Wife (or Female Partner) have "a right" to know that her Husband (or male partner) is gay or bi? I do not know the answer to that question
[I condemn all physical, psychological and emotional harm that one person does to another. Beyond that, I believe that people should be free to make their own choices - and to live with the consequences.]
26. If your wife (or female partner) was to find out about your orientation you conclude that she: would NOT want to know
[She's certain I'm going to leave her for a man some day. I don't meet men so I don't see that happening - unless she no longer wants to be with me.]
27. If you could go back in time and redo your life you would: do exactly as you have done
[This was an extremely difficult question to answer. In all honesty, I would not want to marry. I'm gay - duh. However, I do love my pain-in-the-ass wife, and, most importantly of all, I love my kids. The kids came from our marriage. How could I possibly consider undoing them?]
28. The perfect solution for you would be: Divorce/Separation
[If only my welfare counted, I would prefer to be partnered with a man.]
29. Do you struggle with depression over your orientation issues? No Never
[But I did from 12 - 15.]
30. Have you ever considered suicide because of your orientation issues? I have but would never do such a thing
[I had a plan, but I couldn't follow through.]
What a fucking depressing way to end the survey Rob!
Here's my own question, number 31:
If you could live your life twice, once as an ordinary straight man and another time as an out gay man, would you want to do so? YES!
[I can't think of any other solution that would make me feel that I lived a true and complete me.]