Monday, November 8, 2010

We had "The" conversation last night

Gabbie and I had The Conversation last night.

She'll be getting her own place in a few months, but not yet.

I acknowledged that I'm gay so that's out in the open again. I will start dating men, probably after she seems happy and settled.

A big part of me wants this separation to be temporary, like the one from 18 years ago, so I'm willing to wait and hope.

I'm sure you're all happy for me, but I'm not happy at all. Yes, it's probably best in the long run but I'm really depressed right now. I'd rather not be offered any congratulations or best wishes or condolences or anything else right now.

At this point, I don't know what anyone could say to me to make me feel better.

I need time to adjust and mourn.


  1. Through mourning comes healing.

  2. To have to chose between things is often the hardest test ever. Take your time, and greave well and throughly.

  3. OMFG!~~~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!one!!111111111111111!!!!!!!!!!!!oneoeneoenoenoeeoneoneoeoen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111
    Ok heres the funny thing on the timing of this, plus a little backround. Right now is the end of Dawali "Davali". Google it. Its a hindu celebration of the end of the lunar year, marking the beginning of the new year as well as there being ceremonies to bring prosperity and to bring new beginnings......... I was raised agnostic with my fathers side (divorced family since 5 yrs old) being irish catholic, but was able to appreciate the spirit of the event and the good energy it was representing this past weekend working (serving, I have a side party service business) a party for my 9-5 boss whom is Indian and Hindu. Just saying the positive energy on this time is out there so you should actually be in higher spirits thinking of the future and all the possibilities it holds. All will work out. You will be leading a happier life, even if in ur mind worst case you're "alone" you are still happier not dealing with all the drama associated with your current situation! Props, Kudos, High-Fives, wtfever floats your boat; I'm very happy for you!!!!!!!!!!!omeooenoenoeoenenenoeoeneoenoeoeneoen1111111111111!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  4. i left a 16 year marriage and came out. yes it was a painful promise, but today, i can honestly say it was the right thing to do.

    i still have communications with friends, ex wife etc.

    take your time. look after yourself. dont worry about hooking up str* away. get used to it.

    as the current message says, with time, it gets better.

    all the very best with it. your blog will prove to be a helpful tool for you


  5. I am hanging with you, Cameron!

  6. Cameron.

    I am so sorry for the pain and confusion you must be dealing with now in your life. We all want what is best for you and your kids to come out of this. This is one of the most lonely periods you may ever have in your life and you must just keep talking, even into this blog world, if that keeps you from thinking and doing things that are self damaging.

    Keep remembering that you are a very decent and caring man and this is not really about who you are in your heart.

  7. I hope you will find the content on my site useful and informative to you.

    I recall at the peak of my troubles it was summer with weeks of glorious sunshine. Problem was, I'd step out into a lovely day with my own thunder cloud above me. I used the feel like the good weather was making a mockery of me.

    You will find that the grieving comes in waves. In my case they seemed to take years to recede.

    Just remember take yourself off the hook now and then. This situation is nobody's fault. It's just how the deck is played. Sometimes a good hand, sometimes a dud.

    And, as I always say, come the end of each day remember to give yourself a big hug. You'll deserve it.

  8. While it's painful to deal with everything now, I hope you recognize the importance of what you did. You decided to make a decision and take action. That's bigger than you can ever imagine.

  9. So sorry about your situation. I had a similar one. Please let yourself go throuth it. As Jayson says, it will get better.

    And reach out to the blog readers.

  10. Yes. Good luck. I just found your blog and will be following you on your journey.