Huge numbers of married men fantasize about sex with other men. No one knows how many, but it's at least 1 in 10 and probably closer to 1 in 7. If you go to a shopping mall, a baseball game or an amusement park, look at "the masses" and do the math - the numbers are amazing. You can literally walk by another "curious" guy every 15 seconds.
The thing about man-on-man sex is, not many of the participants are interested in an actual relationship. Sex is one thing but wanting a relationship would be "totally gay."
One of the reasons I've always felt that gay is the appropriate label for me is because after I cum all over a guy's face, I want to snuggle with him, then shower with him, then get dressed and do something totally mundane with him, like go grocery shopping together. Clearly, I'm a total fag because we all know that a genuinely bisexual man would cum, cuddle, shower and then LEAVE, probably never to return.
Here's the weird thing...now that I'm going on dates with other domestically-minded homosexuals, why is that I have yet to feel any sexual attraction to one of them? They're gay, I'm gay, we like to cuddle...let the flirting begin! Right? That's what I expected, but that's not what has happened.
I'm beginning to wonder if there's something queer about my lack of attraction to other gay men. What kind of homosexual has no sexual or romantic interest in other homosexuals?
One guy I've met is Nick. He's older than me, 53. He looks good for his age. He's in shape. He's intelligent. We have interesting conversations. He frequently tells me how cute he thinks I am. And yet...I don't want to even accidentally touch him. On our first date in January he tried to kiss me. My instinctive reaction was to turn away, which is what I did. But I also went a step further and (unintentionally) flashed him a severe look of distaste. I didn't mean to be rude but I couldn't help myself. There was no way I was going to kiss him.
Nick is the only guy who has recently tried to kiss me. All of my other dates have known better than to try. I think the fact that I exude the physical warmth of Frosty the Snowman has given them a clue.
Maybe because Nick was a glutton for punishment, he became my biggest fan. He emailed me all the time and kept asking for a second date. I always said "that would be great" and then I left it up to him to make it happen. Hey, I'm a busy parent with an inflexible schedule! Well, after dodging him for three months he finally suggested a day and time that worked - for my very first second date, a night at the symphony.
About three weeks prior to that second date with Nick, I had a first date with a guy named Erik. I liked Erik. In fact he's been the only guy who has caused some slight tingling in my nether regions.
Erik was the one who initiated first contact. I probably wouldn't have ever messaged him because his pictures made him look odd. In person he was kind of cute. What I found most attractive about him was his somewhat goofy, chatty personality. As I've mentioned before, I was convinced that I was destined to be matched with an introvert, but it was during my date with Erik that I realized, no, opposites do attract. My friend Chet is a chatty extrovert and I get a huge kick out of him. The same was true for Erik.
When Erik and I set-up the date I misunderstood the timing. He expected us to go on a long walk through the park and then have dinner. Somehow I missed the dinner part and when the our walk was over I apologized because I had to get home. It was a Sunday and that's family dinner night.
As I drove home I thought about whether Erik was a good match and whether I wanted to see him again. I definitely did. The next day we exchanged emails in which we agreed to another meeting, but we didn't pick a date because he was going to be traveling for work for two weeks. I never heard back from him and didn't think anything about it. I liked him well enough but I wasn't dying to seem him either.
The symphony date with Nick was on May 5th, the same night as the "super moon." During the symphony's intermission, Nick wanted to go to the highest outside balcony of the symphony hall to see the biggest and brightest full moon of 2012. Unfortunately, a very large office building completely blocked the view. However, as we turned to go back inside, there stood Erik, dressed quite handsomely in a perfectly fitting suit.
Seeing Erik caused a rush of adrenaline to shoot through me. In an instant I was full of nervous energy and that caused me to jump right in front of him and say a rather loud, "Hello!" My enthusiasm was tempered a bit when, a moment later, a youngish, full-bodied guy strode to Erik's side.
Erik's response to my hello was to apologize for not contacting me. I thought it was odd to say that in front of our dates so I brushed his apology off with a very casual, "No problem at all!" Erik then introduced me to Kyle. I could tell by the way they were standing that they didn't know each other very well. Then I remembered my manners and introduced Nick to them both. The four of us had a quick conversation about the super moon and how we couldn't see it. Erik then asked if I'd take a picture of him and Kyle against the background of the City, which I did.
As we parted company I realized that I would have much preferred to listen to the rest of the symphony with Erik and not Nick. That realization sealed Nick's fate. From that moment on I knew I could never be romantically attracted to him.
Nick and I made our way back to our seats and waited for the second half of the concert to begin. As we were sitting there Nick
said, "I just realized that I've met Erik before. We both went on the same hiking trip last summer. I remember that we talked about the
best way to get good prices on symphony seats. Wow, what a small gay world
we live in!"
The next day I emailed Erik, just to say how funny it was to bump into him. I also said that I hoped things work out well with Kyle and I told him that he had met Nick last summer. Erik replied right away. "We should all go on a hike together," he suggested. I said, "Great idea!" but I didn't mean it. Nick is a perfectly nice guy but he's not the right match for me.
I have two more dating-related stories to tell, but I'll have to save them for the next post. This one is already long enough.