Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Davey Wavey on Bravo

Do you know Davey Wavey?
Davey and his famous pecs

He's a self-described "Youtube Personality."  He makes a living by posting videos on Youtube.  Apparently that's possible when you have 641,000 followers.

I wouldn't call myself a Davey fan, but I have, on occasion, enjoyed some of his videos.  I wish I could say there was one I especially liked (or even remember) but there's not.  He's entertaining to watch and he's tasty eye candy - good enough reasons to click on a 90 second video.

Davey recently parlayed his Youtube fame into being featured on the Bravo show, "Online Dating Rituals of the American Male."  You can check out a few clips from Davey's appearance here.

If you haven't had the (dis)pleasure of watching other episodes of "Dating Rituals," I can unabashedly affirm that it's not worth your time.  It's not as awful as HoneyBooBoo, but it's another one of those shows that tries to entertain by featuring freaky people.  Sometimes it's the men who are odd and sometimes it's their dates.

The premise of the show is very straight-forward.  Two different guys are featured each week as they go out on several dates with women they meet from the Internet.  The two guys have nothing to do with each other so really each hour-long episode is two episodes in one.  Davey is the first gay guy they've featured.

On the show, Davey goes out with four different guys:

The first guy he meets is a very loud, very strange "stylist" with out-of-touch delusions of grandeur. His life motto is that he'd "rather be crazy than boring" and he proves that by doing a very bad twerk demonstration for Davey in the middle of a restaurant.  Shortly thereafter Davey pays the bill and makes an excuse to leave.  As viewers, we're thankful he does that.  We can't stand to be on that date for another minute either.

The second date is with an "older" guy.  He's 35 and Davey is 30.  "Maybe that's my problem," Davey says, "Maybe I need to try dating someone older instead of younger."  But what really excites him is that the guy has an identical twin who is also gay.  "A twinsome! One of my biggest fantasies come true!"

Too bad for Davey that his date and his brother aren't into the idea.  When Davey brings it up, the brother is clearly offended and says, "I hope you're not serious."

Then, as if missing out on a "twinsome" isn't bad enough, Davey's date invites him to game night with his friends.  Davey can't get out of there fast enough when he learns that the only 'play' he's going to get are boardgames.  As he leaves he says to the camera, "Boardgames?!!  I don't want to date a grandpa!" 

Let me tell you, his date was no grandpa.  He was muscular, masculine, intelligent and very good-looking.  Definitely a catch.

Davey's third date was my favorite.  Very good-looking, but also very smart, very sweet and very earnest.  Davey didn't like him, however.  Why?  Because the guy wants to have kids sooner rather than later.  In the post-date interview Davey sounded the alarm, "Red flag!  Red flag!  I'm not anywhere close to wanting to be a step-dad."

The fourth and final date meets with Davey's approval.  The reason?  Because just like Davey, he's addicted to Grindr.

I'd actually say the attraction is much more narcissistic.  In terms of attitude and priorities, the two of them are very much of the same mind.   They both just wanted to get laid. As they get into Davey's car to go back to his place, Davey says to the camera,  "Is our date going to turn into anything long-term?  Probably not.  But we're going to have fun tonight!"

I sure hope the guy had a big dick, because as Davey tells us at the beginning of the show, "All gay men are size-queens.  Any gay man who says otherwise is a liar."

I thought I'd enjoy watching Davey on this show but I really didn't.  Listening to him made me depressed.

One of the reasons I've been taking an extended break from dating is because I got burnt out trying (and failing) to connect with life-long gay men.  When I first started dating I never imagined that I feel like such an outsider.  I expected the opposite actually.  I mean, I often felt like an outsider when I tried to connect with straight men so I assumed connecting with gay men would be easier and more natural.  It hasn't been.  Davey's whole life, attitude, priorities, way of thinking...everything...I don't get it.  I really don't care that much about penis, yet that's all he talked about.  Size makes no difference to me.  In fact, if I had a choice I'd prefer an average sized dick to an enormous one.  Kids and boardgames?  Sign me up.  One night stands?  No thanks.

It would be easy to say that Davey is young and immature and that's why I can't relate to guys like him.  But here's the Davey really going to be that much different when he's 40 or 50?  The guys I've met haven't been.  They're more mature acting but under the surface they have the same attitude:  wow me, entertain me, rock my world - life's too short to spend it doing anything mundane!  By their nature they're attracted to shiny objects, and that's just not me. 

I don't want to be a shiny object, so I don't feel bad about that, but I do want to be wanted.  It's pointless to chase men who want to be dazzled, but at this age, they're the single ones, and on-line dating sites seem to be full of them.

I actually feel bad for Davey because I don't think he's going to handle aging very well.  He thinks he's the shiz...and he is, at the moment...but time flies and suddenly he'll be "old" and 35.  His face is already looking thin and bony, especially compared to two years ago.  It's too bad that the two good guys he dated, #2 and #3, will long be partnered by the time he realizes they were a better catch than he will ever be.


  1. Shameless self-promoter. Men can be shallow and taken in so easily by a pretty face and nice bod.

  2. This is something I've observed as well. Seems no gay guy wants someone just like them. The quest is always for someone "hotter". And the constant chasing after physical perfection is self defeating and doomed. Unless one is a genetic marvel, after 30 it becomes harder and harder to look the way potential mates demand. Being fit and taking pride in ones appearance is great. Being obsessed and desperate is anything but attractive. But being comfortable in ones skin is very least to some.

    Is it because gay guys seldom have the responsibilities to marriage and kids that their straight counterparts usually have? Is that why they seem "younger" in their approach to sex and relationships? Idk but it doesn't seem healthy to me. It's more like their development got arrested around 16. I've heard of the "gay adolescence" but this, for a lot of guys extends well into the senior years.

  3. Totally agree with your take on this show. The third guy as amazingly least his shirtless picture. I felt the same way about was sad. He turned down the best guys. I was shocked at the way he talked about guy #2. Davey might be able to make it until he's 40, then age will overwhelm all his efforts to maintain that body. He will be a psychological mess. I'm not a fan of his videos.

    You didn't mention the straight guy. The 36 yo virgin. You're right, this show was about freaky people.

  4. Interesting post. It got me thinking about a theory I have, that a boy never grows into a man, until he has children of his own. He will always remain a boy and never really emotionally grow into an adult. Since you have children, maybe you can help me confirm or denounce my theory. I didn't get to sow my gay wild oats until later in life, and find my behavior is more like a kid than a man. I wonder if it would be different if I had a family, like you.

    1. I'm really against this concept. Certainly, perspectives change when people have children, but I don't think it makes someone less of a man to not have them.

      Rather, there's a very common concept in the gay community that emotional maturity is delayed a bit. If you think about it, most straight people start experimenting and dating and getting all of their "practice" out of the way in high school and college. Many/most gay guys don't come out until late high school or college or even later, so in a sense, they're 5-10 years behind the "normal" maturity curve.

      This is getting to be less and less of a problem as kids become more comfortable identifying as gay (or at least dating other guys) at a younger age. I know that I've seen very different behaviors between guys who came out younger vs older (basically, the guys who were able to date in high school).

      But, even in the straight community, people often try to "date up" as it's called. It's not a gay phenomenon.

  5. I saw the show. It seemed that all Davey wants to do is suck and fuck. The comments about hooking up with twins made me cringe. It did nothing but perpetuate the myth that gay men are only interested in sex and have perverse desires. I’ve spent time in LA and have relatives in the indie film business living there. The town is full of self-promoting media whores like Davey. It was refreshing to see more mainstream gay men at the pool party as opposed to the stereotypical gay party boy. Davey succeeded in making himself look desperate and unhappy. He’s in for a rude awakening one day.

  6. i'm gonna make a mental note to watch this one of these days. i feel very little pity for these kind of overly-narcissistic kinda guys, they're pretty much just empty inside