tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-606416433665118559.post4489956821439923948..comments2023-07-01T05:35:37.292-07:00Comments on If I Do the Right Thing: Men are for sex, women are for loveTwoLiveshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05801244463128618355noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-606416433665118559.post-44366886609842659782012-12-22T03:14:09.115-08:002012-12-22T03:14:09.115-08:00Awesome picture. Most of the people have fantasies...Awesome picture. Most of the people have fantasies about horny mature women playing with them. The best way to have safer sex is XXX phone sex.<br /><a href="http://www.livesexcalls.co.uk/lesbian-phone-sex.php" rel="nofollow">bbw chat line operator </a><br />Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00818501616742120051noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-606416433665118559.post-9924843950933628272012-09-22T15:33:45.560-07:002012-09-22T15:33:45.560-07:00Hi. I just discovered my bisexuality a year ago an...Hi. I just discovered my bisexuality a year ago and talked to my wife about it a week ago. We had only been married 2 1/2 years, and I was afraid she would think I lied to her. 2 years ago I knew without a doubt that I was straight just as I know now that I am not so much. <br /><br />It has been difficult for me to accept but about a month ago I just kinda accepted it myself. When I told my wife she was so accepting and encouraging it blew my mind. I certainly wasn't expecting that! I fear though, that one day she will feel the same as the wife who wrote that story above. <br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-606416433665118559.post-63279069110481368102012-01-02T04:51:06.825-08:002012-01-02T04:51:06.825-08:00Another informative blog… Thank you for sharing it...Another informative blog… Thank you for sharing it… Best of luck for further endeavor too.Kamagra UKhttp://www.eusuperpharmacy.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-606416433665118559.post-68941429054735434282011-10-13T11:57:55.259-07:002011-10-13T11:57:55.259-07:00My husband just pulled me into the closet with him...My husband just pulled me into the closet with him. He is sexually attracted to men, however he also doesn't think he would like an open marriage. he would like to find th elove that I feel for him with another man. I think that would make him gay. Sexual orientation defines only who you would like to have sex with. The emotional connection one wants with a particular sex is what makes them gay, bisexual, straight ect. That is how I view it. <br /><br />On another note i would love to stay married to my husband. He is way better than any straight husband! So our sex life isn't magical, but it is not bad. He is kind, loving and everything that straight husbands aren't. Our marriage is probably one of the best marriages on the block, sex is just one small aspect of marriage, that alone can not hold a marriage together.A Women In Love With a Gay Manhttp://www.blogger.com/homenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-606416433665118559.post-18824269442762117132011-10-09T13:41:59.282-07:002011-10-09T13:41:59.282-07:00I honestly don't think the labels matter. Wha...I honestly don't think the labels matter. What everyone should be searching for is passion in the bedroom and outside of the bedroom with one person. I was married to a woman for 20 years and thought that we had a great relationship. We knew each other intimately, but I never wanted to have sex with her. How unfair for both of us. <br /><br />I am now married to a man that turns me on sexually and emotionally. These two things do not need to be separate. Everyone should chart their own course, but why not choose someone that satisfies all of your needs?<br /><br />I am a man who loves another man completely, body and soul. If that's gay, then bring it on.William Dameronhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10129769129251689759noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-606416433665118559.post-61480889976674763122011-10-07T19:30:40.995-07:002011-10-07T19:30:40.995-07:00Cameron,
Very thought-provoking post! I have n...Cameron, <br /><br />Very thought-provoking post! I have never liked the labels. Although I have been separated from my wife and living with my partner for almost 2 years, I don't feel gay. I feel straight, emotionally and socially, but gay only in the sexual sense.<br /><br />And when I was living with my wife those 29 years I loved her and the sex. And I loved smelling her hair and just melting into her. But I loved sex with guys more- a thing I discovered the last 4 years. So I thought it was fair to tell her I had been doing that. We went to counseling but I really wanted to be with my partner and so we split. I don't think the trust would have been there like it is for some - DMG's comments are amazing - and it has borne out by her anger towards me since. No polyamorous life for me...Paulhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12775219683154536934noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-606416433665118559.post-70499537231502695522011-10-07T16:06:07.003-07:002011-10-07T16:06:07.003-07:00I think the wife wants to be the one and only...th...I think the wife wants to be the one and only...the center of his world. And under this scenario she most definitely will not be. She just wants a normal marriage...I think. Can you blame her? What if his interest shifts entirely to men over time? And she is left in the cold in her old age?RBhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17761591668246881356noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-606416433665118559.post-36504525552617833762011-10-07T10:19:02.691-07:002011-10-07T10:19:02.691-07:00It's hard to really judge, since this is the s...It's hard to really judge, since this is the story of one person, who I don't know. I'm also reading it through the filter of another person. It sounds like this is a gay man who prefers a platonic relationship with his wife.<br /><br />I can say as a man who identifies as bi, that I have no trouble being turned on by my wife. It's her desire for me that is the problem. My experience of women is that they are generally a lot less concerned with sex.<br /><br />It sounds like a basic story of wanting what one cannot have. This man cannot have men, so he wants them. The woman cannot have her husband sexually, so she wants him.Mackhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02417879115453658262noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-606416433665118559.post-69826109554297032732011-10-06T15:23:30.719-07:002011-10-06T15:23:30.719-07:00Cameron, you yourself described this as a "ta...Cameron, you yourself described this as a "tangled complex mix of desire, emotion and sexual orientation," so it is pretty hard to distill it down to labels and stereotypes. And all this is under the assumption that sexuality and desire are fixed entities. Being a self-identified bisexual for all of my adult life and having been out to my wife all 27 years of our marriage I have seen my desire and attraction for my wife and for men ebb and flow. There have been times in our marriage where we were doing it all the time and couldn't keep our hands off of each other (and I am not just talking about early in our marriage) and then there have been spells where many months go by when we haven't been intimate — work, kids, stress etc. got in the way. My desire for men has had a similar flow. There are times I feel straighter than others and other times when I feel gayer than others. The Klein sexual orientation grid (http://www.bisexual.org/kleingrid.html) does a fairly good job of covering all the many components that go into how we identify ourselves and even it allows for change and fluidity. <br /><br />I think what is truly at play with the example you cite is trust. The wife can no longer trust her husband, she no longer trusts in their love. Trust is what allows you to adapt and adjust to your relationship over time and through the changes through which it naturally goes. We have such a strong desire to hold onto our expectation or image of what we think our relationship should be/look like. The thing is nothing remains the same. Once trust is damaged in a relationship for whatever reason it is hard to move forward until it is healed (if it can be healed), and my guess is that the trip to the gay bar shattered her image of their relationship. So she is unable to trust in that relationship anymore because it wasn't based in reality to begin with.<br /><br />I now live a polyamorous life. I have a male lover with whom I spend two nights a week. I spend the rest of the week with my family. I am physically intimate with both of my partners and I haven't heard any complaints from either of them. Actually quite the contrary, my wife now thinks I am a better lover. I am also one of those guys that desires both emotional and physical intimacy with my partners so I could never settle for a series of hookups (although I went through an unsatisfying phase of that as well).<br /><br />For another perspective from a straight spouse I invite you to read my wife's post on my blog — <br />http://dm-bipossible.blogspot.com/2011/09/from-one-point-of-v-straight-spouse.html<br /><br />I don't know if that is the kind of feedback you were seeking. Is the man in the story gay or bi? Does it really matter? I think that is why more and more of today's youth are returning to the more open ended identity of queer. Are men more for sex and woman for love? There's a whole biological component to that one, but ultimately I think what we all want to do is connect and we find a multitude of ways to do that — including blogging and commenting on blogs.DMGhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00854722124138131101noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-606416433665118559.post-21767458807673641332011-10-05T11:18:00.185-07:002011-10-05T11:18:00.185-07:00Jack,
Thanks. I understand that. Giving pleasure c...Jack,<br />Thanks. I understand that. Giving pleasure can be a pleasure in itself. Some, but not all, women enjoy that. too. But the differences for us is that there is a mutual exchange almost always. I can't really imagine it otherwise unless as part of a relationship one party is the focus for that evening or act..more of a game...but that would never be the entirety of the "relationship" for a woman. Too, I really get the nsa aspect. That can be very attractive in some circumstances for both men AND women but the woman would, without a doubt, expect and want to feel "desired" by her partner where I don't think that's a necessary requirement for men.<br /><br />Again, thanks much for your insight. I generalize but I think this is one of the key areas that men and women differ in their outlook on sex and it is often mistake for "emotion" by men. <br /> <br />Oh, I almost forgot, dog lover that I am...I am always petting strange dogs. I will never again think of it the same way after your analogy!! lol<br /> <br />DAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-606416433665118559.post-49255657066572522272011-10-05T05:35:08.240-07:002011-10-05T05:35:08.240-07:00To Anonymous 9:31,
Have you ever petted a strange...To Anonymous 9:31,<br /><br />Have you ever petted a strange dog? Maybe it's a stray dog, a dog that came up to you in a park, or a friend or neighbor's pet.<br /><br />Agreed, you get some pleasure as your hand strokes it's fur, but you also love to watch the pleasure the dog gets from being stroked. Often the dog will communicate it's own happiness at being petted, and that in turn brings us pleasure.<br /><br />I have been known to give a NSA bj to a guy without any expectation or desire for reciprocation. First of all, sucking dick can be quite pleasurable. Mostly it's a real turn on knowing that you're giving pleasure like that to someone else. The fact that this someone else might be someone you just met, doesn't have much relevance, in fact, not knowing all the baggage behind the penis facade may be an even greater advantage. <br /><br />Does that make sense?<br /><br />Jack in SLCAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-606416433665118559.post-39407797501896786452011-10-05T05:26:56.229-07:002011-10-05T05:26:56.229-07:00"The question of whether he is bisexual or ga..."The question of whether he is bisexual or gay is essential. It truly matters whether he's gay or not because this woman, like most others, does not want to be married to a gay man."<br /><br />I disagree. Labels are too confining and serve only to help us make sense of things. The labels we commonly use, Gay, Bi, Straight, are the Black, Grey, White labels you might try and pin on a rainbow.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-606416433665118559.post-15649843586507946062011-10-04T21:31:46.458-07:002011-10-04T21:31:46.458-07:00I think you have described one of the fundamental ...I think you have described one of the fundamental differences between arousal in men and women: desire. I've long contended that women must first and foremost feel desired in order to enjoy sex. Love can be an outgrowth of that desire but love absent desire will seldom be enough. Women can easily enjoy sex sans love but I cannot imagine a woman enjoying sex without feeling her partner desires her.<br />Men on the other hand seem perfectly capable of enjoying sex with someone who does not desire them. How else would using prostitutes or rent boys be possible? Because this has intrigued me for awhile I've asked gay friends about the rather common practice of the "no reciprocity" thing...what satisfaction is there for the guy who does the deed? This would never likely be a practice any woman would consider unless she was being paid or she was working out some fantasy or kink she had. But for men it is not uncommon. No one has yet been able to articulate *why* men do this and what they get out of performing this service.<br />DAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-606416433665118559.post-71915372124357983722011-10-04T21:27:04.296-07:002011-10-04T21:27:04.296-07:00It's difficult to take one situation and then ...It's difficult to take one situation and then try to apply it as a generalization that fits everyone. People are funny in that they can be in such denial that they can convince themselves of anything. <br /><br />I agree with the wife in this case, the guy wants to have to social acceptance of living an outwardly S8 life while secretly desiring the gay sex on the side. If he really loved his wife as he claims he does, he would refrain and suppress his male desires because he knows how much it hurts his wife. Instead he wants her approval to stray. <br /><br />To him, it's just sex so why shouldn't his wife let him, it doesn't mean anything. But the wife could counter with the same argument, it's just sex, if it doesn't mean anything, then why is it so important, just ignore it and focus on the important things like wife and family.<br /><br />Some relationships rely less on sexual desire and more on companionship, being a good provider, and faithful and loyal spouse, etc.. But if sex is a necessary component to both of them, then not having it is a dealbreaker and those people should separate.<br /><br />And I think underlying the problems like you face is the loss of trust. Your wife can never trust you, and without that every move you make is under suspicion.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com