As a straight woman, I periodically read these blogs because I've come to the realization a while ago that there are more bi men out there than I thought. I so appreciate the honesty that some men display when they let a prospective love interest know of their sexual orientation. There is a part of me that understands why some hesitate to do so, but honesty will save both parties heartbreak and stress.I think this woman speaks for her whole gender - or at least for those women who consider being in a relationship with a bisexual man. She wants (and women want) love, passion and fire.
I believe straight women should shed myths and innuendos and give a bisexual man a chance. I don't see dismissing a guy who is driven, honest, attractive , funny, and loving just because he's had relationships with men. I would screen him just as I would a straight guy.
I believe it's about the type of relationship. That's the focal point for me. Would he want to have sex with other people? Can he be trusted? etc.... same questions I'd get answers for from a straight guy.
What I would struggle with is him stating that he is with me for the emotional connection. Many people want a strong emotional connection with others....it's valid and it matters...but I would seriously struggle with my guy not feeling passion towards me....he'd only feel that towards his same sex attractions.....for me that would be an enormous hurdle.
I want to see my man look at me with love and passion and fire and I don't think that's selfish...if a bi guy can give that to me, awesome....if he can only offer emotional connection and he loves me and thinks of me fondly, he and I would be in each others lives forever as the best of friends... the last thing i would want to do is impede him from getting what he needs and I need to make room in my life for someone who can be both passionate lover and friend.
Men aren't any different. We want the same things too.
Straight men want love, passion and fire with women.
Gay men want love, passion and fire with other men.
What do bisexual men want?
The many bi married men I know also want the same things...but they don't feel like they can get it from one person. They want a primary relationship with their wife AND they want safe, sexually passionate connections with men.
Is there "passion and fire" in their marriages? Emotionally, maybe, but sexually, not so much. If the sexual passion was there they'd be much more content with monogamy.
Here's my question:
If the woman quoted above is more open-minded about bisexual men than most women are, and if the many bi married men I know are typical of most bisexual men, is there ever a time when a relationship between a straight woman and a bisexual man can work?
Yes there is! When the bisexual man is essentially straight.
I think this woman's comment explains why so many mixed orientation marriages either don't last or are a constant struggle. We all want the same things but when a bisexual man is pulled in two directions, love without passion is not enough for his wife.
That's certainly been my experience.